
My coming out -
part
1
I used to consider myself straight.
But that all changed when I began having dreams that made me wonder.
I didn't know what they meant, but I did know that as disturbing as
they were, I really did enjoy them. A few nights ago the same troubling
dream returned, I dreamt that I was giving myself a blowjob. In my
dream I just bent right over and started liking and sucking myself.
In my dream it felt great; not only receiving the blowjob, but also
how it felt to have my dick in my mouth.
The next morning when I woke
up I was totally turned on and hard as a rock I began to wonder
if what I dreamt was at all possible. I figured what the hell, only
one way to find out. So I sat up and bent over and tried to give
myself a blowjob but it did not work; I am just not that flexible
in real life. Even though I was a little disappointed I still masturbated
myself to orgasm.
At the time I didn't really think
about it, but it wasn't until later that I realized that I had masturbated;
I had been fantasizing about giving someone else head. This made
me start to question what it meant. Why am I so turned on by this
idea? Is it because of how good it felt in my dream that I want
to recreate it? I wondered if I was slowly turning gay. I really
wasn't sure. All I know is that I was not been able to get the image
out of my head. I knew that I was too terrified of the idea of going
down on another man, but going down on myself, that was different.
"It would be just like masturbating but with my mouth instead
of my hand," I told myself.
Later that night I researched on-line
to see if self-sucking was something that happened and to see if
it was even possible. To my amazement I found plenty of pictures
of different men sucking themselves. Most of the men had extraordinarily
large penises which allowed them to reach down that far, but I did
see a few that managed the act purely by flexibility alone. This
gave me hope that it was possible if I kept trying. "I may
have to take up yoga" I though to myself.
Mesmerized, I continued to look
at picture after picture, getting more and more turned on, but also
feeling inadequate because even though I needed release, I wouldn't
be able to do what I really wanted: to go down on myself. My hand
would just not be enough.
In frustration I continued to
look at image after image. Then I saw one that made my heart skip
a beat. "This is something I can do" I thought looking
at an image of a man who had thrown his legs over his head and had
masturbated over his face and open mouth. He had cum shooting out
of his cock on to his face and into his mouth. I was enthralled
by this picture, I kept staring at the cum shooting into his mouth
and I began to wonder what cum tastes like, what my cum tastes like.
Without taking a minute to think
about it I turned off the computer and went into the bedroom where
I could lie comfortably by the bed on my back and throw my legs
over my head like I had seen in that picture. Once I had centered
myself over my face and mouth, I masturbated furiously. I was so
excited that I came in just a few seconds. As my orgasm hit me I
tried to catch all of my cum in my mouth, but in my excitement most
of it splashed all over my face. The warm and goopy liquid landing
on my skin felt great, and I was surprised by the taste. I expected
it to be salty, but found it was also somewhat sour with a bitter
after taste. Surprisingly it was not altogether unpleasant.
The following day when I awoke I
felt embarrassed and ashamed by my behavior the night before. I
swore I would never do such a thing again. I drove all such thoughts
from my head and refused to think about it at all.
I didn't think about it for days,
and then on a Friday night I went to a party and met a beautiful
woman named Mandy. She stood at 5 foot 10 and had long wavy red
hair. She was wearing this little black dress that came up to her
upper thighs, showing off her great pair of legs and a low cut top
extenuated by a sparkling long necklace that drew every ones' eyes
to her beautiful cleavage.
We were drawn to each other like
magic. It was like no one else existed at this party but us. We
spent the whole night talking and dancing, so it was no surprise
when we ended back at her place after hours.
We were a little tipsy and having
fun kissing and fondling each other. In the back of my mind I was
really happy and relived that I was with this beautiful woman because
just a few days before I had began to question my heterosexuality.
I was in my glory; a straight guy just about to score with the hottest
chick that was at the party, and man, I couldn't wait to brag to
all my friends about it later.
I was thinking all of this as she
had casually undid my pants and had dropped them around my ankles.
Before I knew it she was on her knees and giving me one of the best
blowjobs ever. My knees felt week as she reached up and began stroking
my cock with her hand as she sucked on the tip, bringing me closer
and closer to orgasm. I tried to pull away so I wouldn't cum to
soon, but she would have nothing of it. Her hand gripped me like
a vice and with her lips still around me; she looked up and gave
a stern look that said "don't even think about it!"
I froze and not sure what to do.
She continued sucking and pumping my cock. I t felt so good I just
went with it and was almost knocked over by my orgasm. I felt it
shoot through me like electricity from my head to my toes; my teeth
even went numb by the force of it.
When I recovered and opened my eyes
Mandy was standing in front of me with a great big grin on her face.
She had some of my cum on her lips and I could see more running
down to her chin. She tried to excuse herself to get cleaned up,
but something primal came over me and I grabbed her and kissed her
instead. Tasting myself in her mouth got me excited all over again.
I kissed her deeply and passionately until it was gone; I even licked
and kissed her chin and neck clean of any remnants of my love.
But I didn't stop there I wanted
to return the favor, so I kissed her all the way down her dress
to her luscious thighs. I lifted up her dress and pulled down her
underwear and was pleased to see it was a black thong. I like women
who aren't afraid to wear sexy underwear. She pulled her dress off
and removed her bra then she lied down and spread her legs. One
of her hands gently caressed her breast as the other lazily made
her way down to pussy. She looked fabulous as she played with herself,
watching me undress.
Once I was naked I kneeled down and
began kissing her toes and slowly made my way up her legs to her
beautiful mound. I began liking her pussy lips softly, asking them
to open for me with my lips and tongue. As she got wetter and fuller
her lips did open for me and they revealed her treasured clit. She
was so wet and excited that I was able to bring her to orgasm in
just a few minutes.
As her orgasm subsided I lay next
to her on the floor and she noticed that I was hard again. She kissed
me and then got an impish grin on her face; she reached down and
began masturbating me with her hand. She kept looking at me in a
funny way as she played with me. I felt really good so I let her
even though she was making me feel uncomfortable by the way she
was looking at me. It was like she was plotting something.
As my orgasm started to build and
my breathing got heavier and faster, she asked me if I wanted to
fuck her. "Oh yes!" I moaned as she continued to stroke
me.
Mandy slowed down her strokes so
I wouldn't cum, "I'll let you fuck me tomorrow if you let me
fuck you and you come back and have sex with my friend too."
She cooed in my ear.
"Sure, no problem if she's at
least half as beautiful as you," I said between gasps not really
understanding what she meant.
Mandy smiled with a pleased look
on her face. "It's a date" she said and got up and left
the room for a few minutes. I assumed she had gone to clean up and
thought nothing of it until she returned wearing a huge black strap-on
that must have been at least nine inches long and very thick. I
sat up startled and scared, part of me wanted to run; to my frightened
mind the thing looked about two feet long and six inches wide. "You
like my cock big boy?" She said it more as a statement than
a question as she stroked it with one hand, the other holding a
purple bottle of Astroglide.
I was still in shock, unable to get
up or do anything but gape at it, marveling at the realistic shape
with a nice crowned head and veins going down the sides. She stepped
closer so it was standing erect right in front of my face. "Suck
my cock baby," she commanded, "you know you want to."
As my mind said no, my heart
and throbbing cock said yes; and I closed my eyes and opened my
mouth and gingerly put my lips over the head of the strap-on. I
did my best to move up and down on it with my mouth but it was too
big for my inexperienced mouth. I never the less enjoyed every minute
of it. I loved the shape and feel of it my mouth and I imagined
that it was a real, and brought my hand up to stroke it and I mimicked
the way Mandy had gone down on me earlier. I was in heaven and felt
a rush of disappointment when she pulled out of me.
Mandy saw the look on my face, smiled
and caressed my cheek softly,"don't worry baby, the fun isn't
over yet." Then she pushed me back and asked me to roll over
onto my hands and knees.
With my heart punting I did it, but
stammered "I don't think its going to fit," as she positioned
herself behind me. I heard her squirt the lubricant onto her hands
and dildo, and then her hands began caressing my ass. She kneaded
my tense muscles and gave a massage and as I relaxed she slowly
would bring a finger closer and closer to my hole. The feeling was
sensational, I began moaning and pushing back into her hands wanting
more.
I moaned and almost came when one
finger entered me. She worked it in and out and before I knew it
she had two fingers working in and out of me. She pulled out and
positioned herself directly behind me; she pressed her cock and
rubbed it up and down against me. The feel of her shaft between
my cheeks was great, but it made want more. I ground my ass back
into her and begged her to fuck me.
She laughed sweetly and put the head
right at my opening and applied a little pressure. "Now arch
your back, look up, and stick your but up as high as you can so
that it won't hurt,"
With my heart beating furiously and
my cock was pulsing painfully I did as she bid, trusting she knew
what she was doing. She entered me slowly, a little bit at a time.
With every thrust I moaned and tried to relax and enjoy the feeling.
When she had a few inches in she began thrusting in and out in a
steady gentle pace, making sure that she wasn't hurting me. As I
adjusted to the size of her I loved how it felt and I got into the
rhythm pushing back into her and soon she was all the way in and
she truly began fucking me with a passion.
I was crying with pleasure with every
thrust, louder than I have ever before when she leaned down wrapped
her arms around me and began masturbating me. When I came, having
her inside of me was the most wonderful feeling; feeling my muscles
contracting around the dildo intensified my orgasm to the point
that I thought my beating heart would burst.
When I was done she continued to
lovingly fuck me as she fed me with her hand. I liked her hand clean
with out a second thought, marveling at the wonderful feeling of
being fucked up the ass.
On my way home later that night I
had a frightening realization; that Mandy's friend who I agreed
to have sex with was probably not going to be another woman as I
had so innocently thought. As much as that night was with Mandy
was fun and exciting, I was not ready to have sex with another man.
Next...
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