Alex started to get up to take his turn when Jake jumped up and declared, "I just want to get through with this shit!" His tone and demeanor illustrated how annoyed and angry he felt in needing to do this.

Mandy calmly gave him the card with a little nod and sat down between Alex and Cindy on the couch. She looked calm and secure that the ritual was going according to plan; she gave Alex a little pat on the knee and a smile that everything was ok after seeing a look of outrage over Jake's behavior cross his face. He couldn't believe that someone would have such a negative attitude after seeing Mandy make herself vulnerable in front of them like that.

Alex tried to calm himself down and looked over at Cindy who had a horrified look on her face. He felt that she was also afraid that this exercise was going to turn into a disaster. For her sake, Alex hoped that Mandy was right, and that everything was indeed ok. "Or I may just have to kick his fucking ass!" he thought to himself as he settled back and turned his attention back to Jake.

With a an annoyed look on is face, Jake began;

"Right now I feel pissed off that my wife is making me do this fucking thing. She said I needed to this before she will allow me to return home." He tossed his shirt to the side and looked at the card. "I decided to come here because my wife is making me do this." He continued as he sat down to take his socks off.

"What happened was that my wife and I haven't gotten along for a while and she felt I was ignoring her all the time. Which I guess I was, now that I think about it, but it was because she annoyed me so much I couldn't stand being around her"'

Jake stood up and just stood in silence for a while; he seemed more calm and thoughtful than when he first started. Alex began to relax, and started to feel that this ritual might actually work, and that he probably wasn't going to have to kick Jake's ass after all.

"I am confused." Jake finally added. "I feel different and '.I don't know." He stopped and undid his belt and dropped his pants. Jake looked lost and very vulnerable, standing there in just his boxers; It was very evident that he was feeling and thinking things he had not allowed himself to feel before tonight.

Alex began to feel compassion for him, and knew that this is how he felt a few months ago when he began growing and changing into the person he is today. Now that his anger had turned to compassion, Alex was able to study Jakes physique more closely. It was obvious to Alex that Jake must be a regular at the gym as he admired his trim and muscular body. Alex was lost for a moment, staring at his stomach and pecks muscles as they flexed with every move and gesture.

He was brought back to the moment when Jake spoke again. "The truth is," he whispered, deep hidden shame evident in his voice, "that I am addicted to pornography." Jake took a long breath and let out a sigh, and still looking at the ground in shame dropped his shorts and stepped out of them. "I have spent thousands of dollars on movies, videos, and magazines. I surf the internet daily. I can't help myself, and I know that that is the reason I am currently going through a divorce. I was more interested pornography than in my wife. I replaced her and she could feel it as I grew distant; eventually she left when I refused to stop looking at porn. At first I was angry with her that she didn't accept and love me for who I am and I blamed her for not satisfying me. Now I am able to see that I was the one who had mentally, emotionally and intimately abandoned her and ignored her."

There was silence, everyone giving Jake room to continue if he wished. Alex was touched by Jake's pain and honesty. He knew how hard it must have been for Jake to admit that and respected him for it. He looked around and saw compassion and love across Mandy's face, and Cindy was wiping tears form her eyes; obviously touched by Jake's experience.

Mandy got up and thanked Jake for sharing, and snapping him out of his daze. She offered for him a chance to continue, but he shook his head no, and sat down looking very much like a lost child. "Who would like to go next?" Mandy asked looking at Cindy and Alex.

Alex looked at Cindy and saw the fear on her face and decided to go first so with a smile of encouragement, he got up and took the card form Mandy. After glancing quickly at the card's contents he looked up at the three attentive people sitting on the couch; one terrified and clothed and two naked and raw. He was surprised how comfortable and safe he felt standing there about to bare his body and soul. He could see in their eyes that he had nothing to worry about; in that moment he trusted them. He began;

"Right now I feel safe. I was terrified coming here but now I feel that I can trust all of you and I feel safe doing this. Thank you." Alex started unbuttoning his shirt. "I am still a little nervous, but after what I just witnessed, I know I am safe and feel good about doing this." With a smile he took off his shirt.

"I am here because over the past few months I have been going through a lot of changes; changes in my identity, my feelings, and my over all lifestyle." Alex pulled his leg up and removed his sock. "What happened was that I had a very intense sexual experience with Mandy," giving her a smile as he removed his other sock, "and was offered a chance to return the following night for a threesome with her and a friend, but I chickened out. I regretted my decision to not come for months, and when Mandy's invitation for this group arrived I knew I had to come or I would regret it for the rest of my life."

Taking a deep breath, not really sure where he is going Alex continues, "I am more receptive now. I have a better sense of how others feel; I am able to see how my actions affect those around me. I know now that I used to be a real jerk and mistreated women and some men who I considered weak. As I went through these changes I realized that I couldn't hang out with my old friends anymore, because I wasn't like them anymore. Now I feel lonely because I don't have any friends, and in retrospect, I never really did."

After dropping his pants and stepping out of them Alex looked around the room and saw that everyone's attention was fully on him, and he felt reassured when he could not detect any judgment or scorn in their gaze, only true compassion and caring. "The truth is" he paused, took a breath, "'that I am bisexual." He looked down, afraid he had crossed a line. He knew it was silly of him and that he could trust them, but verbalizing the fact that he was bisexual and coming out of the closet to other people was harder than he had thought.

"I have given it a lot of thought over the past few months and I feel that the changes in me weren't necessarily directly attributed to accepting my bisexuality. I think the true catalyst was when I allowed myself to be penetrated. By physically allowing someone or something to enter me, it symbolically opened the door for feelings and emotions to come in as well."

"Before that night with Mandy I was already questioning my sexuality, wondering what it would be like to go down on another man. When I masturbated I would taste my own cum and it was pleasing to me. But it was nothing compared to the feeling of sharing it with another person; when Mandy shared my cum with me directly from her own mouth it tasted and felt a million times better. Mandy acceptance and engaging in homoerotic play with me was the first step to me really coming out. For the first time I truly felt it was really ok for me to do it." As Alex told his story and remembered that night, he started becoming aroused and the bulge in his shorts was getting bigger and bigger. He felt a little embarrassed by it, but he knew he needed to keep going.

"Mandy made love to me that night with a strap-on and symbolically turned me into a woman that night. By allowing myself to take on a passive role in sex, a feminine role, all the socially imposed barriers that most heterosexual men have broke inside of me. After years of not truly feeling, of not being allowed to cry, feeling empathy for others, I suddenly could. It scared the hell out of me at first, but then I realized that letting myself feel felt like the right thing to do and even though it sometimes hurt like hell, I continued to let myself feel. At first I thought I was turning gay and that really scared me, but then I felt relief when I found that I was still attracted to women, and mostly women. But now I am open to the idea of being intimate with men as well." Alex dropped his boxer briefs and stepped out of them and added; "The truth is having feelings is hard, and confusing. But I think that learning to be honest, like we are doing tonight is going to make it a lot easier."

Alex stood there naked and hard in front of his audience, not really sure what to do next. He felt relaxed and lighter, like a great big weight had been removed from his shoulders. He smiled to himself knowing that for the first time he felt truly free.

He looked at his audience and felt happy in knowing that he found people he can trust. They were smiling at him with love and understanding and desire as well. He recognized the look of desire in Mandy's eyes as she looked at him and liked her lips softly. Jake kept trying not to look at him and seemed embarrassed that he had been caught looking at another man. Cindy kept crossing and uncrossing her legs and couldn't keep her eyes off of his cock.

Alex walked over to Cindy and stood at attention in front of her and handed her the card. Her shaking hand reached up and for a moment headed for him out of its own violation, but then turned and grabbed the card. She stood and Alex sat down in her place, and was rewarded for his effort by Mandy who affectionately placed her hand on his inner thy. They smiled knowingly at each other then gave Cindy their undivided attention.

Cindy stood fully clothed before her naked peers and felt awkward but found safety in hiding away behind her clothes. Even though she felt comfortable with her peers now that they have shared and bared themselves in front of her, she did not want to loose the sense of safety clothing gave her. She was terrified of being naked in front of people and didn't know if she could go through with it. She looked at Mandy for help, and she gave her a little smile and wink of encouragement.

'"Use the card honey, it really helps."'Mandy told her reassuringly. Alex and Jake agreed.

Cindy nodded nervously and began, "Right now I feel terrified." She took another breath and without looking at anyone, took off her sweater. "I decided to come here because Mandy is my friend and she made me come. I have been feeling miserable for a long time and like Jake, I am also going through a divorce."'

Looking everywhere but at her audience she removed her sweat pants, leaving her standing in a long baggy t-shirt and underwear. "What happened was that over the past two years I have been depressed, I have post-partum depression. After my baby was born I sunk into a deep depression where I began to question myself as a mother, as a wife, as a human being. I felt that I was not qualified to be a mother I just couldn't do it. But I had to. I have made myself get up every morning and take care of my baby the best way I could. My husband didn't understand why I am so tired every day. Didn't understand how much work it is to be a mother and still try to keep the house clean and cook, and all the stuff that is required of me. He didn't understand why I am so unhappy even though I love my baby more than anything else in the world. He expected me to be happy. He expected me to keep doing my wifely duty, but I couldn't. I lost all my sexual desire. He expected me to remain skinny, and I didn't, I couldn't."'

Cindy took a long pause and when she looked up again there were tears running down her face. "He didn't like spending time with the baby so I could get a break. He saw it as just babysitting, not being a parent, a father. I don't understand. " She took another pause and let out a deep breath that turned into a sob, "and now he's gone." And she broke down crying and buried her face in her hands.

As Cindy told her story with her pain being so evident, Alex felt himself getting choked up and as soon as she started to cry he felt tears coming down his cheeks too. He felt an intense need to hold her in his arms and console her. He got up and opened his arms in invitation and took a little non threatening step toward her. Cindy looked up and saw the kindness in his eyes and allowed herself to fall into his arms. Her crying went from heavy sobs to wails, her arms squeezed tightly around Alex and she dug her nails into his back in her throws of pain as she released all of her pent up agony.

As her cries subsided Alex slowly released her and Mandy was there with some tissues so she could blow her nose and clean herself up a little before she continued. Alex noticed that Mandy had been crying as well as her mascara was running down her face as well. Cindy finally pulled herself together enough to mumble an apology for breaking down like that before taking off her shirt. Mandy spoke for all when she told her there was no need to apologize.

After she had taken off her shirt, and was only left with her bra and panties, Alex's gaze kept going to her full tummy. He felt drawn to it and couldn't take his gaze off of it. She was a full bodied woman with nice curves, full hips widened by giving birth, and nice thick and strong looking thighs. Her large breasts indicated that she was still breast feeding. She had broad shoulders and straight back that gave Alex an image of her being a strong woman perfectly capable of carrying the world. As Alex studied her he saw that she wasn't a Barbie, but she was by no means fat either, and for a minute hated her husband for making her feel fat when she wasn't.

His gaze was drawn back to her stomach, full and round with a hint of stretch marks that were barely visible, but exuding a strange power that he could feel. As much as he tried to pull his gaze away to not make her feel uncomfortable, the energy and power radiating from her tummy kept pulling him back. He could feel her power in his groin and felt himself getting hard again; but it was a different kind of hard. His hardness spoke of worship, of life, or more precise, of creating life. For the first time in his life Alex felt the need to make love to a woman, not for sex, but to create life and make a baby.

He was so enthralled and lost in this new feeling that he barely heard her as she continued. "I am glad that I am here. It feels good to be doing something, anything but sitting at home in the darkness of my depression." Not noticing the reaction she was having on Alex, she pulled her panties down and stepped out of them and took another deep breath before taking her bra off and finishing the ritual. "The truth is that sometimes I feel that I deserve having my husband leave because I wasn't good enough and I couldn't please him. I feel fat, ugly and alone."

"Cindy, you know how I feel about you and I don't mean to discredit or minimize your experience or how you feel, but I think Alex feels diffrently." Piped in Mandy with a giggle snapping Alex out of his daze, and adding to his growing embarrassment she gestured to his obvious state of arousal.